Ambition and comfort

I've often linked ambition with ruthlessness.

The more ambitious a person is, the more they seem to want to get ahead in the world. There's a hunger there - a hunger to better one's own standing. Now this is not an unhealthy thing intrinsically, indeed, we should all desire to better ourselves day in and day out. But I've discovered there are some types of standing where "betterment" is not necessarily better.

According to an old saying, Truly blessed is the man that can climb both material and spiritual ladders at the same time. But I've often wondered if climbing a material ladder allows for true spiritual growth. Indeed, it seems to my mind a spiritual man would want to either give his money to causes more worthy than himself, or perhaps invest it into a purpose that will benefit the world in some way, shape, or form. Yet in order to give this wealth in a pure-hearted manner, one must first obtain it.

Therefore, ambition seems at first glance necessary to fulfill this goal. But digging a little deeper, we find flaws with this theory.

Ambition is, if nothing else, closely intertwined with competition. In order to get ahead, you must succeed where others have failed. Regardless of how hard you have ACTUALLY worked, if your results are seen to bear more fruit than those against whom you are competing, you are ahead. Working smarter, not harder, is the key to success.

This breeds, for the strategist, opportunities in which sabotage can work in your favor. It becomes easier to get ahead if you don't care who you're stepping on. Indeed, the higher one climbs in the echelon, the more they discover that others have sabotaged their opponents already, and find themselves now amongst bitter, ruthless competition.

How often is it the person who desired to change the world for the better and climbed to the top to do so, found themselves destroying the very principles they once found motivating them? How often did they turn around and realize they had become what they desired to compete against? Or worse, how often have they NOT realized it?

On the flip side of the coin, I see the comfortable. Those who are content in who they are, what they are, and what they have in life. They may not have everything they want, but they are happy with what they have... most often, they have found a satisfaction in which their employment status, or material gain, or social circles have come secondary to the core of who they are. I generally see the blue collar worker who feel they make a difference in the daily lives of others in this category: The teacher. The nurse. The construction worker. From the laborer at the recycling plant to the secretary at the business office, these people, though they desire (and very often deserve) recognition for their work, often find not only is the work in some way satisfying, but they also have other satisfactions outside, a life in which the need to be calculating in one's upward climb comes secondary to the need to be at home with their loved ones, or at play with their friends, or at study in their betterment of themselves.

These I see as the content. The comfortable. Don't get me wrong, such a way of life in and of itself requires a constant battle against the natural inertia that drives us as individuals to idleness and sloth, (A battle the ambitious are often unaware they are fighting as they scramble frantically up their ladders), but there are worse battles to fight, especially if one derives satisfaction from what they do every day, or from the goals they are working to obtain... or perhaps from simply keeping their children well-fed and educated, moving towards a life better than the one they themselves had.

Perhaps you agree with me. Perhaps you see my point of view as simple, maybe quaint; Or perhaps you read this and think I lack a healthy motivation. Most, I imagine, will not read this or consider it at all. Regardless of what anyone else thinks, I write this not out of any desire to promote myself or force my view upon others, I write this to express myself, in part, I suppose, out of a healthy satisfaction of who I am.

Again, do not mistake me. If a large sum fell into my lap, I would do my best to better myself, my loved ones, and the world with it as I see fit. Perhaps it is purely my lack of ambition that keeps this from happening. Perhaps it's the wisdom, mercy, and grace of a power greater than myself that keeps me from failing tests I do not have the capacity to pass that keeps me from becoming what I hope never to become. Then again, maybe I'm simply not among the lucky. Regardless of the reason, the case remains. I am in this situation, and I feel I am making the best of it by being content with what I have. I try to be generous in times of plenty, patient in times of difficulty, and rather I seek to better myself in seeking the best life I can live, preparing for something greater than this life.

Perhaps, that, then, is the ambition of the comfortable.

New Place

Hey everyone. I'm back up and online, and all snuggled into the new apt in Chandler. It's strange, how I started my life here, and now I've come full circle here for my wedding.

Rachel and I registered today at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. (Every time I hear the name of the store, I think of that episode of The Simpsons!) We went bowling with Brandon, and donated all my old clothes. We spent time with Ava and Khosrow and Shahla, and get this: Natalie became a Bahá'í today! That should be an interesting twist for brandon, but they really seem to be into each other and they seem good for one another. we'll see how this plays out.

Sarah also got the chance to meet them, (FINALLY), and I ordered my tuxedo! Wewt! It's been a fairly productive weekend, all in all... and though this week will be laced with it's ins and outs, I already look forward to this next coming weekend. I guess there's always just so much to do, you never know when it's all done.

Speaking of all done, I'd better crawl into bed as I originally intended before I'M all done.

Moving Day

Alright everyone, this is it. Moving day. If you don't hear from me for a while, I'm having conflicts with my new services.

From Dust and Ash

          In the desert of a former life
          In the sands of past despair and loneliness
          Amidst the ashes of a forgotten time
          Something stirs


     A breeze without wind
     A movement in the stillness
     Unearths a small, insignificant form
     Into the light of day

It is a creature born of love. Her love.


               It is her Love that makes the tiny heart beat
               That gives it the strength to stand
               Against the natural inertia of the great desert


          It is her trust that shields it from harm
          From the heat and the Destruction of the harsh conditions
          Of its own former world


               It is her certitude that gives it knowledge
               That makes it self aware
               That gives it the reasoning to percieve

          It is her beauty, her light, that brings it awe.
          That opens its eyes to joy
          That brings to it a sense of purpose


Her Ardour Courses the fire of life through the creatures veins
Her surety grows into armor... light as feathers, hard as diamond
Her conviction and faith brings it the power to arise from the dust
Her Splendor brings a song to its soul

     The phoenix takes flight into a new realm
     A realm of limitless skies,
     Into a world of endless hope,
     where dreams are reality,
     and all that is real is a dream


          In this world does my heart sing these words
          For all ears to hear
          These keys can never do the song justice

But the heart knows the song.