Okay, I don't know if I'm just over-caffeinated or WHAT, but I feel like I've already been at work for five hours. I'm thinking about the fact that JUST before I got here I FINALLY managed to get the AVI to DVD burning properly on my computer, which is perfect because now I will be able to archive all of my old files in a digital manner that can be easily read by my home recorder. now hopefully it will also be able to easily make the book time a ROM on DVD+R's, so there is no problem with Non-recordable standard players.
And yet, now I'm TOTALLY itching to have a blue-ray recorder, now that they're only 150 bucks. NOT so much for the video, but for data archiving.
I'm jittery. It's gotta be the caffeine. (Makes me feel bad sitting next to one of my Mormon friends at work, actually). Right now all I can think about is a bloody Blue-ray burner. And get this: I don't even have a decent LCD monitor right now! I should be TOTALLY focused on that. I'm thinking just a little 20" 720p 1680×1050 monitor. Can probably swing that for 150 bucks.
Oooookay after that call that lasted half an hour I think my caffeine's starting to slow just a smidge... the world is going a more normal speed.
At any rate, I'm TOTALLY craving the ability to store 25 gig's on a single disk. My .5 terabyte external WD (that's only really like 465 gigs) just isn't doing the trick. There's just so much that I need to DO! Speaking of which, I have old school video on HI8 I need to record. GAH. I don't have a HI8 player! Mayhap I can borrow the parent's old bust camcorder and find a battery for it or something until I can digitize it. the thing hasn't worked in years, but still...
Okay Focus Cody. You have a wedding to worry about. Ice-pak the technolust. It just feels like I've FINALLY re-captured the ability to do what I wanted to do five years ago with my video, and I already feel I'm WAY far behind. I still have a ton of VHS tapes to record onto digital, and though they're mostly SLP vhs, I'm still not sure what I should do as far as the playback speed / quality balance for the DVD. I know the quality is already degraded, but how far is too far when I'm degrading the DVD's quality, too? I tried the lowest setting and it was like 3 times worse than the analog distortion. But That means I'll need like 3 DVD's per VHS tape if I don't degrade the quality. (Hence possibly part of my desire for Blue Ray recording).
GRaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Any suggestions would be helpful I suppose. Mayhap I should just video capture card and run it all into my computer for later archival, rather than the other way around. That, of course, will require a video capture card... but that can't POSSIBLY cost as much as all the DVD's I would go through to record my VHS footage properly.
*sigh*
"Dear Santa. I know it's April, but please send me 4 terabytes of storage and the means to digitize and transcode all of my archives. Sincerely, Cody."
Monday, April 20, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
What I don't want...
What I don't want, is to be that guy whose wife goes home after work, then makes and eats dinner alone, straightens up the apartment because she's lonely, watches some TV or putzes around on the computer, then, when I FINALLY get home, she's ready for bed.
I don't want to be that guy. I realize now if I don't changer my hours soon, that's the marriage I'm consigning her to.
Damnit if I can't sacrifice my "late" hours for her happiness. Damnit if I can't be a worthy husband for her. Damnit if I can't change the way I've lived the last five years for the woman I've asked to marry me and share my life. Otherwise, I'd deserve this hole I'm digging myself into.
I love the woman I'm going to marry. I'd do anything for her. So how then do I balance being responsible when I barely wake up in time for work as it is? I certainly can't loose my job by not showing up on time. That would negate the whole "being responsible" thing. But so would leaving her to lonely nights and single place-settings for dinner.
Looks like I'm going to become a morning person. I'd better get my S*** together soon. The wedding's in 102 days (For which I am smiling GRANDLY). Invitations are already in the mail. (Mostly, I still have a couple addresses I need to collect).
I don't want to be that guy. I realize now if I don't changer my hours soon, that's the marriage I'm consigning her to.
Damnit if I can't sacrifice my "late" hours for her happiness. Damnit if I can't be a worthy husband for her. Damnit if I can't change the way I've lived the last five years for the woman I've asked to marry me and share my life. Otherwise, I'd deserve this hole I'm digging myself into.
I love the woman I'm going to marry. I'd do anything for her. So how then do I balance being responsible when I barely wake up in time for work as it is? I certainly can't loose my job by not showing up on time. That would negate the whole "being responsible" thing. But so would leaving her to lonely nights and single place-settings for dinner.
Looks like I'm going to become a morning person. I'd better get my S*** together soon. The wedding's in 102 days (For which I am smiling GRANDLY). Invitations are already in the mail. (Mostly, I still have a couple addresses I need to collect).
Thursday, April 2, 2009
29
Spoiler alert. The first part of this is a bit whiny. The rest mildly epiphanous.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
twen⋅ty-nine: [twuhn--tee-nahyn],
n
1. The awkward transitional period ending what were supposed to be the "best years of your life", but still not yet in the realm of "thirty-something".
2. The age where it's no longer cool for you (Specifically) to do things that used to be cool for you to do.
3. A time by which you'd better have developed a stable relationship, because if you haven't... you're mentally screwed.
I'm feeling a strange emptiness. Perhaps it's the fact that I'm still living alone instead of with my soon-to-be-wife, or perhaps that's just a small part of it. ...definitely just a part of it.
That sounded wrong. I'll try it this way. A year and a half ago, I was a complete person, perfectly content with myself. Now that I feel so united with the woman I'm going to marry, and now that we're becoming one unit instead of two individuals, it's getting harder to not always have her in my daily life.
Also, Part of me misses California. Terribly. I think about the places that I, only in the last few years there, developed a fondness for. But I know it's really the friends and connections I made out there that I miss. I could be anywhere with people I know, love, and care about, and be happy.
Another part of me spent a chunk of those transitional years gaming online. (granted, that didn't go over so well with my computer crashing every 20 minutes). In many respects, it gave me an outlet, a place to converse with others with whom I had a similar personality, or shared certain interests. It gave me some connection. Since I'm not one to frequent bars like the majority of men my age, with whom I lack that in common, it was one more place I could feel like myself.
But now, everything is different. I know what it is to have that person I want to spend the rest of my life with. She wants to spend it with me. And yet we're just not THERE yet. We've scheduled a marriage we both want in a sensible time frame, but my brain doesn't seem to care about sense at the moment. I feel like we're reaching towards this line and it's stretching patience so thin... like pulling a taffy over an incredible distance. It's INCREDIBLY frustrating, not to have her here when I come home. Not to be synchronized onto the same schedule. Not to be able to talk about our common interests at night or even just have her here and both be futzing around on the computer.
God this sounds whiny.
It's not like it's anything unexpected, and it's certainly nothing I can't handle. It's just... disorienting, I suppose. I feel out of place. The fact that I turn 30 two months after our wedding (108 days to go!) makes it feel like I just want to GET ON WITH IT.
It's not the wedding I'm concerned about, I suppose. I just like to see myself as a young, fun-loving kind of guy. I guess I've been that guy for too long and I need to move on. Sometimes I feel that would be easier if they'd let me finish school already. As far as THAT goes, It's getting to the point I just want to sue everyone into oblivion. But God-D***it, I'm going back to school As soon as is HUMANLY possible. At this point, I don't even care if it's the History Masters. I just want a better piece of paper than I've got. I've seriously considered Cisco networking, but that'll be a whole new branch of my current employment field I have a lot left to learn on, but it places some good job opportunities my way. Then again, I want a career. Not a job. I often feel like the only 29 year old unsatisfied with his education and employment status, willing to change it, but hindered. I know I'm looking so many good things I have going for me when I say this, but it's so FRUSTRATING... all the work I've done thus far, amounting to what I have to show for it.
Then again.
What I have to show for it is something few others (especially in THIS state), can claim. I grew up near some of the wealthiest and most decadent people on the planet, (Lets face it, San Diego is that close to Hollywood), Moved to a third world country and grew a disdain for my own hometown, moved BACK to the states just in time to find myself whirlwinded into helping facilitate the growth of a digital revolution, and because of my "educational limbo", I had the chance to help kids grow up, learn about myself, expand my social circles, And once I'm finally truly on my own, severed from the ties of my past and ready to move forward with my life, I fall in love with a close friend of over a decade, who I'm lucky enough is as crazy about me as I am about her. She's my best friend, my confidant, and I would be so much less than I am without her.
All of that makes the piece of paper seem paltry in comparison.
The lessons of my life cannot be summed up in a masters degree. Nor can they be summed up were I to write this blog for the rest of my life. One phase of my life is ending, another is on the horizon.
Sometimes, I guess, if you're watching the horizon, it just seems it takes the sun FOREVER to finally rise on the new day.
After writing this, I now recognize my impatience is simply wishing it would get here already. Knowing now why I've been so frustrated, I can smile at my own ridiculousness, shake my head at myself, remind myself what a lucky guy I am, and look up again into the horizon, clearly anticipating my new day.
108 days left to go.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
twen⋅ty-nine: [twuhn--tee-nahyn],
n
1. The awkward transitional period ending what were supposed to be the "best years of your life", but still not yet in the realm of "thirty-something".
2. The age where it's no longer cool for you (Specifically) to do things that used to be cool for you to do.
3. A time by which you'd better have developed a stable relationship, because if you haven't... you're mentally screwed.
I'm feeling a strange emptiness. Perhaps it's the fact that I'm still living alone instead of with my soon-to-be-wife, or perhaps that's just a small part of it. ...definitely just a part of it.
That sounded wrong. I'll try it this way. A year and a half ago, I was a complete person, perfectly content with myself. Now that I feel so united with the woman I'm going to marry, and now that we're becoming one unit instead of two individuals, it's getting harder to not always have her in my daily life.
Also, Part of me misses California. Terribly. I think about the places that I, only in the last few years there, developed a fondness for. But I know it's really the friends and connections I made out there that I miss. I could be anywhere with people I know, love, and care about, and be happy.
Another part of me spent a chunk of those transitional years gaming online. (granted, that didn't go over so well with my computer crashing every 20 minutes). In many respects, it gave me an outlet, a place to converse with others with whom I had a similar personality, or shared certain interests. It gave me some connection. Since I'm not one to frequent bars like the majority of men my age, with whom I lack that in common, it was one more place I could feel like myself.
But now, everything is different. I know what it is to have that person I want to spend the rest of my life with. She wants to spend it with me. And yet we're just not THERE yet. We've scheduled a marriage we both want in a sensible time frame, but my brain doesn't seem to care about sense at the moment. I feel like we're reaching towards this line and it's stretching patience so thin... like pulling a taffy over an incredible distance. It's INCREDIBLY frustrating, not to have her here when I come home. Not to be synchronized onto the same schedule. Not to be able to talk about our common interests at night or even just have her here and both be futzing around on the computer.
God this sounds whiny.
It's not like it's anything unexpected, and it's certainly nothing I can't handle. It's just... disorienting, I suppose. I feel out of place. The fact that I turn 30 two months after our wedding (108 days to go!) makes it feel like I just want to GET ON WITH IT.
It's not the wedding I'm concerned about, I suppose. I just like to see myself as a young, fun-loving kind of guy. I guess I've been that guy for too long and I need to move on. Sometimes I feel that would be easier if they'd let me finish school already. As far as THAT goes, It's getting to the point I just want to sue everyone into oblivion. But God-D***it, I'm going back to school As soon as is HUMANLY possible. At this point, I don't even care if it's the History Masters. I just want a better piece of paper than I've got. I've seriously considered Cisco networking, but that'll be a whole new branch of my current employment field I have a lot left to learn on, but it places some good job opportunities my way. Then again, I want a career. Not a job. I often feel like the only 29 year old unsatisfied with his education and employment status, willing to change it, but hindered. I know I'm looking so many good things I have going for me when I say this, but it's so FRUSTRATING... all the work I've done thus far, amounting to what I have to show for it.
Then again.
What I have to show for it is something few others (especially in THIS state), can claim. I grew up near some of the wealthiest and most decadent people on the planet, (Lets face it, San Diego is that close to Hollywood), Moved to a third world country and grew a disdain for my own hometown, moved BACK to the states just in time to find myself whirlwinded into helping facilitate the growth of a digital revolution, and because of my "educational limbo", I had the chance to help kids grow up, learn about myself, expand my social circles, And once I'm finally truly on my own, severed from the ties of my past and ready to move forward with my life, I fall in love with a close friend of over a decade, who I'm lucky enough is as crazy about me as I am about her. She's my best friend, my confidant, and I would be so much less than I am without her.
All of that makes the piece of paper seem paltry in comparison.
The lessons of my life cannot be summed up in a masters degree. Nor can they be summed up were I to write this blog for the rest of my life. One phase of my life is ending, another is on the horizon.
Sometimes, I guess, if you're watching the horizon, it just seems it takes the sun FOREVER to finally rise on the new day.
After writing this, I now recognize my impatience is simply wishing it would get here already. Knowing now why I've been so frustrated, I can smile at my own ridiculousness, shake my head at myself, remind myself what a lucky guy I am, and look up again into the horizon, clearly anticipating my new day.
108 days left to go.
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