Faith and Crisis

Faith. It's a tricky thing.

Not to be confused with blind faith, or faith in something one has no way of discerning the truth of, Oxford describes faith as “complete trust or confidence in someone or something”. Many people confuse this with religion itself, or else trusting that even though you have no reason to think things will be better, they will. But faith itself is not as specific. Faith only requires that you entrust your belief into that which you feel is worthy.

To have faith, true faith, one must have something to believe in, and a reason to believe in that something. One must be led to a point where their rational mind and their heart together accept the validity of some truth. One then gains faith in that truth. One Believes. One dares to think that such a thing is possible, and we then say they have faith.

Not everyone has faith in the same things. Some people have faith in a particular person. Some have faith in a greater Being, a Fashioner of the rules of creation. Others have faith in their own abilities. Regardless of the object of faith, they indeed put their confidence, their trust, and more often than not, their love into their faith. Their faith sustains them when nothing else will. They trust in not only this object, but they come to trust the faith itself; it becomes a quality almost tangible to the person who has it.

Closely linked with faith are two core character qualities, steadfastness, and patience. Without them, it is very easy to loose faith, and many often do. A crisis of faith occurs when one begins to question either their faith in the object in which they have decided to enshrine their trust, or in the motives, abilities, or nature of the object itself. One begins to question whether they have put their faith in this object wisely. Sometimes they question whether the person they have put their faith in truly has their best interests at heart. Others question their own motives, or their ability to get something done. For those who have put their faith in a greater Being, this may pose a unique challenge, as the very nature of such a Being would put it outside the understanding or ability of study of any human, and the person may loose faith in either the will of that Being caring about them, or else in It’s power to impact the persons life, often leading to questioning the very nature of that Being.

As there is so often a love that comes with faith, so often too is there a pain that comes with a crisis in that faith. To suddenly (or even gradually) become unsure of what was once a solid foundation for the world in which one lives is more than unsettling, it can disrupt the entire course of a person’s life. A person will question themselves if they question their faith, they may wonder if it means they are not trusting, or if they are not a good person. They may not like the answers they come up with, frustrating them all the more. Sometimes, a person will embark on a personal journey to find answers to their questions. Often a person will become afraid to find answers to their questions, for fear of what they might find. Many times, the courage of a person can be measured in how they handle their crisis.

This is why steadfastness and patience are so closely linked to faith. If one has the strength, they will seek out the answers to their questions. For those who have faith in another, they sometimes learn that if they are patient with that person, their faith is rewarded. For those who lack faith in themselves, they may find something deep within themselves they never knew was there. There is often a process of give and take in both of these. Give patience, or determination, or discipline, and find that your faith is strengthened by these things.

For those who have faith in a greater Being, again, the challenge can be unique, but so can the rewards. The person who questions their faith and decides to pray about it may find their lack of faith was caused by a lack in prayer, and so they discover their faith has ways built into it to strengthen itself, if one is willing to take on the discipline. This discipline in turn becomes its own reward, something the person might never have gained otherwise. And so we find that strength of character breeds a steadfastness, if one is willing to be patient.

There are times when, upon examination of their crisis of faith, a person determines they were simply too impatient. They were asking for something, but not waiting for the results, or perhaps they were unwilling to take the necessary steps to help them succeed in their request. There are times when a person will decide they have acted like a petulant child, and become embarrassed at their actions, and determined to be more open minded or patient in the future. There are other times when a person is not able or willing to find the solution before them, and they will become frustrated. Without the patience to find this answer or the steadfastness to believe the answer may indeed be there, they will let go of their faith. Sometimes this process is quiet, at other times, it is an event that makes national headlines.

It would be impossible to count the number of people in this world that have faith in something, but the human psyche seems to have a natural tendency towards seeking out something to put one’s faith into. It is not hard to imagine that almost every person, at some point in their lives, goes through at least one massive crisis of faith. If this is a loved one, you may not know it, as faith is such a personal thing. But often times this person will need an open ear, someone to help them speak aloud their frustrations, or else help investigate their questions. Sometimes they will just need someone to hold them as they cry. Love, and faith in loved ones, is a salve sought by many. When we find that someone close to us can be trusted with our fears, faith can be renewed, whether in finding faith in the one who is there for you, or in being lent the strength and the patience to solve a personal crisis of faith, or both.

Perhaps then three things are closely interwoven with faith. Patience, steadfastness, and true friendship. If one is going to have “complete trust or confidence in someone or something”, and so many people seek just such a thing to have faith in, the ties of friendship may be strengthened by finding one with whom they can share your faith. These ties help strengthen one’s faith in others, in themselves, and possibly even in faith itself. To loose faith is unnerving, to find it again is a relief. To trust in one’s self, to trust in a greater Being, to trust in others, is not something easily done. Perhaps that is why we seek out faith. With so many things that have the ability to betray our trust, to have something we can put our faith wholeheartedly into is not merely a comfort and a relief, it is a means of testing and refining our own characters. And what is life but a process of continual growth?

Faith can sustain us, if we sustain faith. If we abandon ourselves, we abandon our faith as well, for our faith is a part of us. If one has faith in something, they find it gives them what they feel is a clear path of right action and a better way to live. If one has faith in a greater Being, they may try to heed the will of that Being. If one has faith in themselves, they may find the best way of life is to better themselves. Neglecting these actions have consequences, and of course, so do forging the discipline to continue them.

When a person who is the object of one’s faith has proven themselves unworthy of that faith, the difficulty of reconciliation is dependent on how closely one is tied to that person. In a friendship, friends sometimes feel it is best to move on, or at least see less of each other. In a relationship or a marriage, however, this becomes exceedingly difficult, especially if there are children. Sometimes a person will be driven to fight harder to save their faith in that person’s qualities, to the point of helping that person find faith within themselves. Other times it is discovered the couple does not have faith in the same things, or that one has no faith at all, or that one is unwilling to change and take on the discipline necessary for growth. Sometimes an impassible rift is formed, other times, people unhappily try to work and live around their situation. In both cases of shattered faith, it is not so easily sought again.

But human tendency towards faith is strong. To humans, faith is an attractive quality. Confidence springs out of faith. And one who lacks confidence often feels it’s lack, and is drawn towards one with faith. In this way are people tossed together in the chaos of the world, even as the atoms of a star in the nuclear furnace of it’s core are sometimes ripped apart, only to be fused again.

A crisis in faith can turn turn a life upside-down. It can be the process of destruction that leads to the process of creation, or if mastered, it can lead to plentiful rewards in one’s relationship with the object of their faith. But in such a chaotic universe, where the least likely scenario would seem to be a bond of any kind, let alone a bond of faith, our attraction towards the tendencies of faith will not be denied for long.

And so, even as the bonds of the world forge stardust into planets, our faith attracts us. Even as rock is forged into diamonds in the pressures of the earth, our tests of faith strengthen and perfect us. And we become the better for it. For in the end, when we put our faith in something, we do not do it for the object of our faith, we do it for ourselves. We do it because we have a need to put our faith in something we can believe in. We have a need to constantly better ourselves. If we ignore that need, it does not stay silent. It gnaws at us, questions us, gets us off our couches and away from our distractions and makes us question ourselves until we arrive at a conclusion.

It is not easy to have faith. Although most people have faith in someone or something, there are indeed times when that faith is lost. In these times, how a person handles their crisis of faith determines who they are, what they are, and what they have faith in. Sometimes they surprise themselves with the answer.

One of those mornings...

It's been one of those mornings where nothing seems to go quite right for me.

I thought I'd start off the day with a little video gaming. Opened up starcraft II, thought I'd play some games now that I'm no longer in Practice league as of a few days ago... whats this? The next five games decide what league I'll start in? Okay, sure, I can win a few of these, I was doing so well before...

Four losses later due to stupid mistakes, I figure I'll take a break and check my phone. Oh, my wife called. Awesome. Only she's having some troubles she needs to talk about. Cool. Cando. ...Ummm, this conversation doesn't go so well over the phone, and we decide to postpone it. Poor girl is even more frustrated now, it seems. *sigh*.

She reminds me it's thursday. I've been trying to keep a routine of working out mondays and thursdays. Which reminds me, I think I'll prepare some podcasts to watch on my while I work out. They don't seem to be updating automatically with this app I'm trying. Lets try downloading an app that will sync wirelessly with my itunes so I can get everything that way. ...Oh, its in two parts, the wireless doesn't work without more configuration I dont have time for. well lets sync up my podcasts... NO NOT EVERY UNWATCHED PODCAST I HAVE. Okay there's no cancel option, let's quit the sync and exit the program. To avoid any data corruption, lets eject the phone from the OS before unplugging it. Want to be safe after all.

......AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnd everything from my SD card seems to be missing on my phone.

Friggin awesome. Guess whose running late for work after all this?

>:-( <

Magic Track-pad devices, Apple and Google TV, and subscriptions

This is really going to change the way you watch TV, Movies, News, Sports... anything you do.

about 19 minutes in of the enclosed link, they talk about the apple magic trackpad. This can really start to shift "TV" to something actually useful to us. We've already got devices we can carry our screens with us, we can download our content, heck, we can watch it in the shower! But we want to use our home TV sets the way we want to use them. This video talks about how this makes the experience more... tactile. Remotes may soon be a thing of the past. Its time we get our subscribed content the way we want it. Apple and Google are soon unveiling the way they will help make this possible.

I'm running off to work right now, hopefully I'll be able to write more about it soon.

Seattle, home of cold weather, Space Needles, Twi-freaks, the EMP, Mt. Raineer and St. Helens, Pikes Place Dockside market... and much, much more.

So I've returned from a land of Snow and wonder, of harbor and cloud cover, of techno-lust and healthy living, back to the scorching desert I call home.

Seattle was wonderful. Give a parched throat water and it will love you forever, and so Seattle quenched many a thirst. Albeit the home of Microsoft, I thoroughly enjoyed the experience that was the north-westernmost state in the US.

We spent a two day journey through northern Arizona, staying just outside of Salt Lake City the first night, then blasted through Idaho to Oregon and thence to Washington. I gotta say, that's a beautiful drive. The landscapes were amazing, from rolling hills to misty forests. Stopping for Gas just inside Oregon was interesting... apparently it's mandatory in the state for people to pump your gas for you. Who knew? The only downfall was when you wanted to squeegee bugs off your windshield and felt awkward grabbing the squeegee while there is someone standing next to it, whose job it is to do stuff for you and you don't really want to ask them to do it. *shrug* Other than that, it was a friendly place.

Then of course, you drive into Washington, and all thoughts leave your head once you get up the mountains. The low clouds playing mists playing upon the hills and trees, the rain in the distance, and the waterfalls off the mountains are a sight to behold. And that was before you even get into the bay!

In Seattle we started the day at Pike's place market, a cultural experience like none other. Rather than "mallify" itself, Seattle's market 50 years ago decided to upgrade while keeping the atmosphere of small vendors alive. It's a Bazaar unlike anything else you'll find in the states, with the freshest produce, fish Literally flying past your head, and gorgeous bouquets of flowers at ridiculously low prices (Something Rachel TRULY enjoyed). But up on the mountain, the taste of the local produce is incredible, not to mention the SEAFOOD! The crab and the halibut there are to die for.

The next thing to do in Seattle is, of course, the Space Needle. EVERYONE's gotta see the space needle! =) It gives a great view of the city, and "when the mountain is out", (AKA, when the clouds HAPPEN to vanish for a while), you have a gorgeous view of Mt. Rainier. But first we thought we'd see what Mt. Rainier may one day become, and went to see Mt. Saint Helens.

For those of you who have never experienced a Volcano.

We drove past the Grand Canyon on the way up. We opted not to see it this time because we had other things on our minds. ...After experiencing Mt. Saint Helen's, I don't feel I missed much.

The Devastation of the mountainside is inexplicable, Awe-inspiring, tragic, and immensely beautiful. There are no words to describe how fragile you feel looking down on the remnants of a valley that wasn't as it is a mere forty years ago.

So we thought we'd see something similar to the wonder that was Mt. Saint Helen's before the blast, and we went up Mt. Rainier the next day.

...And if you've never seen a torrential waterfall from a melting glacier, no video you see will ever do the experience justice. ICE COLD WATER. FROM SNOW! IN JULY!!! (It's 110 degrees in Chandler Today).

After a day of hiking, we went back to the city and experienced things like the First Starbucks, Ye Old Curiosity shop/museum (complete with mummies), Twilight fandom everywhere (Yes, Twi-freaks, we saw Forks, and no, the Vampires do not sparkle... Though I'm sure there are some I didn't see in the built-over Seattle under-city) ;-) and of course, one thing I'll give Paul Allen Much Due Credit for, the EMP, or the Experience Music Project, with built in Sci-Fi Museum.

Dad... you gotta see this place.

For all you Music Fans, just over Half the EMP is dedicated to some great moments in Rock and Roll, most notable of course Seattle's own Jimi Hendrix. Some of the Original Les Paul and Gibson guitars reside there... it's a bit of history like none other.

Then of course, there's the Sci-Fi Museum, which I almost couldn't leave. From the Original Death Star to the suit from the Rocketeer, From the original weapon in Aliens to a tribute to Ursela K. LeGuin, and monuments to old comics, literature, and Authors/writers/producers/directors who changed culture forever, even the timeline keeps you in awe and wonder. Sadly, we did not bring the Camera into the EMP, but I encourage everyone to go.

We also spent a wonderful day with Rachel's great uncle Dale and his wife Vita. Two of the most wonderful people I've ever had the privilege to meet. I feel I could talk to them for hours on end. Dale showed us around Olympia, The Capitol of Washington and one of the coolest little city-towns, absolutely beautiful area.

Eventually, of course, we had to come home, so we thought we'd take the coastal route. Portland was actually a great place for us to see, we liked it immediately. The Oregon coast is so Diverse, though, that at any given moment you'd see Ocean, forests, sand dunes, plains, and mountain all in one glance. It's bizarre and Wicked cool. (Also wicked windy this time of year!) We passed through one town during the local Kite Festival. that was fun.

Less fun was the northernmost tip of the Coastal 1 Route once you get into Cali. If you're ever tempted to take it... DON'T. STAY ON THE 101 THROUGH THE REDWOODS. (which are SO beautiful!) Don't get me wrong, once you get to the coast it's beautiful, but that 20 mile trek down the mountain is something carved by no sane mind. And the coast itself is windy enough that you may just turn a curve and smash into a random car, forest, or even a pack of cattle. ...yes, cows. On the edge of the road, up a cliff, on the beach, with nothing between you and them. you heard me correctly.

Once we got into San Francisco, we got to Navigate their WONDERFUL traffic. A few hours later, we stopped in San Mateo for the night. *sigh*. Thence out of SF and a long drive to the outskirts of LA, around LA to the 10 and back out to the desert from whence we came late last night.

And now its time to play catch up. Laundry needs doing, oh, and my Monitor finally died. I'm Currently using the one for Rachel's old computer. I'm hoping Fry's can give me a copy of my Receipt, because I don't have it anymore, nor the box or anything. They usually keep those print-outs on record though I imagine, though I'm not sure for how long. I believe I've had the monitor just over a year, and though LG has a 3 year warranty, that won't do much good without proof.

Anywhoo. So Yes, Seattle is a wonderful place, and very, VERY tempting for a Cali boy turned desert rat like myself. See for yourselves one day... Just hope you like cold, wet weather... ;-)

Contentment and Ambition

I've decided it takes a certain amount of dissatisfaction to be truly ambitious regarding... well, anything, really.  What is ambition if not being driven to make some sort of a change?  Hence, I've realized I'm not a truly ambitious person simply because I'm fairly content with my position.

Though I don't work as a teacher (something I really want to do), I still help people.  Day in and day out.  My job is technical support, and I'm very comfortable with what I do.  Furthermore, I'm good at it.  I have the people skills to do well and the technical know-how to keep my customers informed.  Sure, my job doesn't pay as well as some other jobs in my field, but it pays.  I'm able to bring home a paycheck at the end of the day, and I've helped people get connected to the world.  The job brings me satisfaction.

Then there are those in my job who decide they must move on.  They must move higher up, or they must move to another line of work.  I see these people at work, and they are not satisfied.  They don't feel they are being paid enough, or they don't like dealing with people day in and day out.  Every personality has a different take on the job.  And for those who are always trying to climb to the top... I imagine it's just never enough.

...The more I look at it, the more satisfied I am with who and where I am.  I have a good job, a loving wife, and a great life.  No, I don't want to stay in my current job forever... I don't even want to stay in Arizona forever... but I have it good nonetheless.  I suppose that's why I'm not truly ambitious.

Just some thoughts.  That was all.

Chromium OS

If I'm reading this developer's calendar correctly, the Code for the Google Chromium OS should be completed by tomorrow!

http://sites.google.com/a/chromium.org/dev/developers/calendar

I SERIOUSLY want a netbook running this Operating system. Without the need to programs on the computer, but rather using apps, all the docs and everything regarding the service will all be on the net. Personally, I think this is going to completely change the way people look at computers and devices, and I can't wait to get my hands on it.

I know the OS itself isn't suppossed to be RELEASED and available for sale until the 2nd half of this year, But I've been waiting since I heard about the project.

Here's what I want to make: A fusion.

Here's what I want to make.

Not a website.  Not a database.  Not a Portal or a social network.  A fusion.

Something that seamlessly integrates who and where you are on the internet.

Something that knows if you are on your smart phone, or at your desktop, or in your email.  Something that knows if you're visiting a guest computer, or at your home.

Something that will notify other "friend" users if you are available currently via twitter, or phone, or email when they check on their phones, twitter, email, or webTV.

Something where they can initiate a video chat... a text message... a voice message that you read as text. 

Something that knows if you're at work, it needs to send you a text message instead of call you.

Something that will tell you if you have a video message waiting for you somewhere if your phone can't play it.

Something that will let others link you to what they have discovered, or to their photos or playlists or RSS Feeds in a simple manner.

Something that can use your phone's GPS if you wish to make the whole thing automatically seamless

Something that will never use GPS if you don't.

Something that will let anyone leave you a message if you're in the shower.

In short... I want to fuse the web into something functional.

...Now... Any coders out there with any good ideas?